Like a Boss or Like a Nurse Boy

The second day of toil as a carer for an old grandfather. I was not the first time as you remember my dear, this is the 5 th grandfather, for whom I watch. And this is probably the second best one I had in the history of this type of work. He does not move, I translate it into a carriage, it eats itself, the very clean, all of course in a wheelchair occurs. And yes, he was 94 years and he has quite a fresh mind, ie, usually in his few years understands well, who often whines on all sorts of circumstances, this is its great advantage. I also had time to talk with him on various kind of sick theme of modern Italy, and even felt ashamed of myself that I behaved with him as a child. Morning begins for him somewhere in the 10-11, ie, I have a lot of free time for myself training. Then he calls me, I wash it, to heal the wound on his ass, dress, and go make breakfast. Then taking him on the balcony, if there is sun and he is sitting there with a small radio and enjoying the sun, but today the clouds and rain, so he sits at home in his desk chair. And somewhere in the 15 clock to dinner, I cooked him a soup today, so light. Not bad but you think? I think so too. Then, 18 go into the hall and watching television about 20:00 and then dinner and again the TV and so on until 22:00 – 22:30 I consider a minor flaw, sleep late in the day falls wretch. And I try to meditate in the evening just because the brain is not particularly perceives the information, then we will go in a different direction))

i'm a nurse boy

So, what next.

As I said, it seems to me that I decided on my direction in 3D, this concept design environment, ie, cities, streets, possibly the interior, but most of the exterior. Something like this 

Unfortunately, the lessons are not as many as we would like, but I found something for maya 3d, I think, the same technique can be applied in a blender. It is like not to depend on anyone, it certainly is not possible until the end, to be completely independent, but then in the relative world, I want to deal with less stupid and boring people, it moves and motivates again.

And now it’s time for dinner my dear, Finally, I again can afford to cook, but this time got some sort of a hitch with my nutrition, food left a little to me, for a week and a fridge half empty, went yesterday to the store and made the necessary purchases, all well then my salary will pay for all this, if I’m not mistaken, I have to get about 200 euros per week.

Homeless lunch

All the success and the successful realization of their ideas and plans.


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It may well seem that I am too picky, and grumbling, but i have to.

Hi there!


Summer ends, tomorrow will come the autumn rain. Then will be winter, etc. And early separation from my shell hobo. Every day I got better…no no, I’m lying in the first place lying to myself and myself so difficult cheating.  How I was able to view the tutorial, and the hard surface, and the character, and others, all feel it not, not really my thing. Ie it wouldn’t be a hobby – fun, it becomes just a job, for which I will receive money. Of course it’s better than working in construction or as a bartender in a bar. And how I understand myself and realized I am a creative, tasteful, love the aesthetics and pleasing the eye of the subject. In one word I am an artist. those. I am more inclined to creativity than to the analytical work, and of course I like and machinery and military affairs (aka hard-surface), but there is one zest, which can enjoy the most, and most importantly myself. So I decided to focus more strongly on the design environment. This design of streets, cities, buildings, work with light, texture, all I was rushing, and gives inspiration. Every night I try not to think about it, otherwise I just can not sleep.  And of course all this is to run tests and in Unity engine, unreal because in my old MacBook does not maintain anything, very low FPS and lags make it impossible to work in the unreal. Also changing very attractive sphere vfx, it certainly Houdini, but here again, I limited my old iron hee hee. MacBook good machine, but in practice is not compatible for 3d. In my opinion it is already determined enough is not it? )) Just kidding, I think it is worth spending plenty of time for that, it is sufficient to think, to feel the feelings in the future, how i will do this and within audible response and the future state. It may well seem that I am too picky, and grumbling, may well have, but in my 35 is not squandering of time, which over the years becomes almost priceless.


It’s unfortunate that this come rather late, the train has long gone of course, but I can at least sit in the train and go to the village))

Well on this I probably leave self-topic and say that next week I have to start working like nurse for one old man who only a week, and will live at home and I’ll have a hot shower, a kitchen, a bed, and I can do meditation and learning.  Will certainly be a lot of bucks in your pocket, what pleases me, because at the moment in your pocket is 5 cents, even on gas Balon no money, not to mention the coffee and tea. This will save us.

So all of a successful week and take care of yourself.

And don’t forget about my social stuff.



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Usually clochard days

Hello everybody!
Sorry it took me so long to update the blog was delayed, perhaps I should be honest, that is especially nothing to say, it seemed to me that all that can be said has already been said, but there is always a pinch of salt which may give useful information. I should also say that the last two weeks have been very rainy and my spirits fell a little and did not have writings, summer is almost behind left, but now again the Indian summer has returned, again shorts and T-shirt. And finally opened my favorite Caritas, where the calm, though almost 2 hours take this action, but it has become easier to get, later I will give a detailed photo and address on Google MAPS, because you never know maybe for someone it may come in handy this.

Having dealt with a cat jumping on our roof and continually spoil her. To do this I had to wrap around the perimeter of a special net with small holes, that cat could not walk or climb, but … there was another big problem … it is fucking ants … Since the beginning of the rains, they probably began to look for a rooming house for the winter and just parapet passing through the house served as a good house for them, as soon as I move the blanket as there have got a billion ants, I had no special means, I used Balon remaining paint and slippers, and so I drove all the, ah yes, I forgot to say that I have used garlic, crumbled it and I began to hammer them all the cracks, because I remember that they do not like him and it seemed to help so far. To do this I had to wrap around the perimeter of a special net with small holes, that cat could not walk or climb, but … there was another big problem … it is fucking ants … Since the beginning of the rains, they probably began to look for a rooming house for the winter and just parapet passing through the house served as a good house for them, as soon as I move the blanket as there have got a billion ants, I had no special means, I used Balon remaining paint and slippers, and so I drove all the, ah yes, I forgot to say that I have used garlic, crumbled it and I began to hammer them all the cracks, because I remember that they do not like him and it seemed to help so far. No job, and generally do not have a cent in my pocket now.

again, I think about how to move to Paris, where as I said earlier, quietly I can forget about work and devote themselves purely and nurturing, Italy cool country, but to rise in the development of more complex it seems to me, Paris – France is much more developed than Italy and the people there are not as clever as I intuitively and memory. At the moment, I try to learn English and also French, too, can not be without the right to live. And another thing, to have some money in the pocket, I’m going to grab the AssetStore on Unity and Marketplace on UE4, I want to create something which small Asset and that what is 100 euros per month fell into my pocket. The truth is not just that it is seems because the store is already crowded with all sorts of rubbish, have to do something original.

Actually sometimes after what that brief meditation, I visited an interesting thought that I would like to write here, but then I just forget them, and as a result there is always understanding within me that all is not so important, writings here, learning, stories and chewing snot, but we will not dive deeply into philosophy, it’s enough.

All as always wish peace and good, be wise and take care of yourself.



P.S. ah, i forget put my small wip, it’s kind of lunar track or antimissile system

radiactive collctor

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The summer almost gone or how is important understand what you want in life

Hi again!


Summer is slowly retreating, as you can see in the photo, my shower seat is wet and covered with leaves, the towel no longer has time to dry by the next evening, this is bad, I am glad that the school returns to normal and inspired by it. And already the coming cool nights give impetus to a speedy deliverance from the bondage tramp.

Then so do not be like those people at the bus stop…(as you can see in the photo below)You just look at them, 80 percent of people standing at the stop, standing with an unhappy expression, not a drop of inspiration and joy.

Unfortunately not everyone can understand what he wanted to do, it is in most cases the parents fault, who could not give into the hands of the card, a lot of cards, so that the child could choose and now we see the result, which we see at this stop, it is a vicious circle and it seems to me, only a few get out of life, “a real pleasure” and satisfaction. Therefore it is very important to understand this as soon as possible and not give this tumor evolve further. And then be sure to tell it to the masses, but for some reason it seems to me that it’s a little late, humanity seems doomed. Seeing how people are chasing the latest model Samsung = iPhone and other Pontus, they are not interested in the inner world, and just a shell, the main thing that this beautiful jacket shining. Well not talk about sad things, yet there is a percentage of people which does not behave like a fly)) In Italy a great country, warm and tasty)) but people(at least the Romans) do not respect themselves and they deserve what they have now. Is traffic terrible, no respect on the road and not just very short-tempered and not patient to each other, ready to cut the throat of each other for a little mistake, and it is again wound the thought of moving to live with “normal” people who value and respect themselves, and not just throw dust in the eyes, first and foremost, they are fooling themselves.

I think if you dig deeper, it is what the Latin genes involved, is closer to Northern Italy and in France, Germany there is no such relationship to each other. So on that cheerful note, I think it’s time to part with you my dear, appreciate yourself and your loved ones, your precious time and nerves and know how lucky you are to not live in Italy or not only in Russia))

appreciate yourself
appreciate yourself













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Next Level or finally august is finish


Hi all!

Ufff, the only thing that remains to say is…I was able to survive the most horrible month in Italy this month and August. When almost a month, closed all the social centers, when you need a place to sit and charge the phone(excluding McDonald’s of course), and these 2-3 week stretch is sooo long and tedious. And today I open my favorite library, a crowd of students just broke into it. I have the feeling that the students were looking forward to the opening of the library, I think they just don’t stay at home, or kicked out, or they have no air conditioning at home, or they are just bored at home. But a lot of people come to the library very much. Maybe in September I’ll get a job, temporary work, transportation of furniture, was promised 50 euros per day if this part will be once a week, it would be perfect for me. I almost grew up in the 3D world, I feel healthy chick, but still very much to learn, doing only modelling is not to get rid, of texturing also an important stage in the development.

Very well rescued fruity garbage that fed me all this time. A week appears “normal” Caritas, and then I will again begin to gain weight. This month I’m decently thin, and skinny as a cane, and then even thinner))
All the people who lives on the street, became noticeably more aggressive and impatient toward our brethren. As if no one ever starved a few days, I know for myself that during a long famine, you have nothing fun and all my thoughts only about how to quickly fill the stomach some food, but few are aware of and can control their emotions and feelings, especially the homeless, so it is very easy to get a knife in the side. Should less time talking and joking during such periods with that person.

Well, I myself set the goal and direction before Christmas to get out of this pit and start to live as “normal” people drink in the evenings right wine, to the Norwegian Smoking tobacco through a pipe. Allow yourself to live the rest of life as a white man, to be engaged in yoga in the morning, going to the movies and do not think there is not stolen my tent, I want to please themselves and others.

This is probably okay, time to leave this place and do my usual homeless rituals, tomorrow is a new day.


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Blender with Substance Painter = Love

HI Perls!

So finally, that it happened, the project did for almost a week, it is very simple in fact, geometry, simple UV scan and texturing in substance painter and then I realised how powerful this program is just the bomb in one word. It has a huge number of settings, and you can create a truly realistic images.

3D stuff

For now I have to dive deeper into modeling, and the glory of the universe, that the new version of the Substance works fine on my old MacBook.
that was all, so luck to all and patience.

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I’m not like a vagabond or church create another separation..argghhh

Hey perls!

Long I wanted to share my thoughts on the so-called Christian charity in Italy, especially in Rome. And it all started with the fact that this week in the Vatican Caritas workers first took us for tourists, and not want to let the inside of the shower and to the hairdresser, I had to show my Carits pass. That is, if you already look a little cleaner than the usual homeless, shaven cheeks, and clean clothes, the attitude towards you changed …. and not for the better, seems strange eh. i.e., if you’re in the shower clean and tidy and you have no money for food, then you are doomed to starvation or digging in the trash, while for those who spoil the view of Rome his appearance, behavior, litter, this is the norm ? People who only think where to find a couple of euros for the wine package and drink to oblivion. This course can be taken as a compliment that”@I am not like the vagabond”, but still left a bad mark in the soul. So, the very principle of the church is broken, “but asking for it shall be given” … or will not, if it is clean and tidy? ie a separation and discrimination, yeah again the damn discrimination. Generally is a different and long topic of conversation, religion theme, I at one time are lots and lots versed in these heaps of history and I think that many of my readers do not really like my opinion about religion in general, no matter what it is, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam and others, all one problem.fucking religions separation

So friends, if someone will go in my footsteps, so keep that in mind, appearance plays a role, even when you’re a homeless tramp. Well, by tradition to say that such incidents give more fuse and energy on self-development, and as soon as possible to get rid of such problems.

A world where man dropped his hands and does not want to climb up, in fact everyone has the opportunity, but few people know about it, and very few people take advantage of it in the end. I wish you all a great mood and hot fuse in these last hot days of summer.



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Life on the streets of Rome in August is not the comme il faut.


poor boy in the rome

August dead and rotten month for homelessness in Rome and I have heard it all over Europe such crap. As I wrote earlier, all Bagged closed, what are the small ones. And we have to look to dodge on churches and ask what that sandwich. With my hemorrhoids so this is a nightmare for me. Because in my diet fruit almost disappeared, but I tramp the old school, I remember how my best friend, about 10 years ago, we also roughly in August, began to explore the trash near the shops and not bad so fed themselves. And now I had to assign a few minutes of shame and embarrassment of thought, but once in 2 supermarkets found huge reserves of fruit, little damaged, and life became a little bit sweeter))

Once all of the libraries are closed, or have to sit in McDonald’s or Burger King, the glory of the universe from there we no kicks. Well, this is probably enough chatter, all the good summer days and up to the meeting.


Life on the Street hardens the character.

Zingari vs italiane

Shit happens eh. Yesterday was a little blamestorming or bodystorming. Flight Gypsies and Hungarians. More specifically dealt last is not very pleasant events that unfortunately occurred through the fault of the Gypsies, who “tried” to take (steal) Materials my neighbor Hungary man, which allegedly happened by mistake. But the error is repeated many times, sooner or later, bring himself to correct here yesterday and had a culminating moment, and perhaps not the culmination, because Hungarian in the morning as I understood a damn thing has not calmed down. Ie he was drunk (yesterday evening), was a bold and decided to go to them and find out for a man, and asked me to be there, so we never know what can happen, so I was a such a justice of the peace, which in time may stop the match. We came to the territory of the Gypsies, the house was only a wife, her man, was not,  a Hungarian immediately began a fierce attack, the words fortunately, a gypsy at first tried to speak calmly, then sees that he does not calm down, and also began to raise his voice, I began to stand between them and slightly repel each other. Then already I feel that it is time to leave, pulls them apart, the Hungarians created the illusion that he wanted to hit her, and delayed it and she (gypsy) course really believe what was happening, and then we’re going to get out from this place and coming her husband with a friend. I had to warn him that the Hungarian drunk and may be inadequate, who knows how can react gypsy. Here, the same scenario, the Hungarian attacks them, I try to pull them apart, then I see the Gypsies grabs a claw hammer and swings in Hungary man, which of course further heats the situation, I have an inhuman voice yelling at everyone to calm down and slowly we leave. Downstairs, Hungarian, so much fun said: “A good performance we had,” … Yeah… fucking performance that could end the massacre and calling the police, which does not want to. In general, gypsies are scared, I could clearly see with my own eyes, after returning home, I secretly went separately to him, to look at them, nor their reaction, I get as an ambassador in this situation. They perceive me as some good person, though her husband has helped us to build a hut, I even offered them money as payment for work done. In general, I’m on good terms with them, and many have to be at the level of life on the street, it makes you to be pragmatic, or if you show off what you can easily get in the face or a knife in the ribs. So this way things happen with homeless drone.

In general, it is necessary to look for a new place to live, at least near it I need time. Because next week I might get in the job…aha aha yes my dear, I went to a meeting with the son of his grandfather, he was to be discharged from hospital soon, and they need to take me on trial. 800 euros per month, plus food + free accommodation + Wi fi has a home, sounds good, yes, but fuck  without weekends, yeah, the real prison is, but that’s what I’ll write later and in a different time, a kind of manual for future nurses for the elderly )))

Well, this is probably enough chatter, because already half day spent to “paint” in my blog.

What happened yesterday is very motivated to self-development and early departure from the world of vagrants in the world of “normal”.

Everyone peace and goodness.

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Every day I feel stronger in the Blender


Perhaps this is due to the fact that I first studied Maya, then modo and 3D koat, and then I had an Epiphany of how everything is easier in blender, especially compared to Maya. Yes I am aware that almost no Studio doesn’t use blender, but I don’t even dream to get one of them, and because I’m a sociopath and the life of a loner, like a freelancer, this free and powerful product is right to the point. 

Yesterday when he got home, found out from a neighbor the bad news that on the morning of our Gypsy “friends neighbors” the police came and announced the demolition of all buildings, the news is certainly not the most pleasant, and no lack of sorrow in my life’s journey, and here also it. In General, collect the tent and hide it in a safe place, if Barack will carry, the tent will be like an emergency exitAnd this of course again gave impetus to even more self evolution to quickly escape from this lifestyle, from all these unnecessary problems. Demolition is promised for Wednesday, but hopefully that will not affect us, because our territory is further away from the public and we are not so noisy as the Roma. So good luck to us! And God bless Blender

i love blender 3d












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